The Sexuality Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these songs, having sex brings immense meaning and consequences.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical destination-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), makings the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to incredibly difficult to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel very close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in powerful sensations of attraction, enjoyment, love, closeness, and well-being .

However when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap typically justify by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but his explanation the sex is excellent!" They probably wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that much of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys specifically in metropolitan locations, sex is readily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its focus on physical look, encourages sex. Lots of gay men wish to learn from the beginning if a potential partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North includes, "I presume this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is necessary. Yet, chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it should be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though sometimes it can grow in time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means integrating chemistry with common sense. While great sex is important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, worths, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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