The Sex Snare, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and men use love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, having sex brings immense significance and effects.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great too).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual may be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are attracted to extremely hard to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and involuntary , causing powerful feelings of destination, excitement, closeness, wellness, and love .

But when issues develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not admit it, but they prioritize physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their primary searching tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay guys, says that much of his customers have actually go to my blog fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men particularly in city locations, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though often it can grow over time.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication subsides and truth hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, worths, and objectives -- while feeling all those interesting stimulates!

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