The Sex Deception, Balancing Hormones and the Noggin

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs interpret great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings enormous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the chance to have sex with somebody we are attracted to very hard to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel really near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective sensations of destination, excitement, closeness, well-being, and love .

But when problems develop, those who fall under the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They probably wouldn't admit it, however they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that a lot of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males especially in urban locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

However, North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to mention that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a offered that we cannot manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should stabilize Click Here your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with typical sense. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying full focus on your vision, requirements, goals, and worths -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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